I’m scared that you gave up and I’m holding on to just memories and the old you. I’m scared that I’m getting over this… I don’t want to think about this but it’s night like these that I wish we never happened

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You could care less…
I’m glad I at least told Linds. thank you honestly. I’m relapsing again, and I just needed to tell someone and have someone remind me to stop. I know it’s going to be struggle but I’m glad someone understands. thank you so much.

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I can never be happy for too long. it’s like a law of nature or something

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The fact that so many of my friends had my back on this and checked up on me is so fucking lovely, like I felt so loved. I’m beyond lucky to have these amazing people that I call friends. Fuck, never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m going to miss ct..
Friends please visit me and expect random phone calls😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

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I guess the feels are back…
F.u.c.k.

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I’m lying to myself thinking it would help. That it will help me cope but let’s be fucking honest nothing is helping me erase your picture from my brain. Not now at least…

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Don’t bother telling me anything if you don’t mean it. It might seem like a double standard but I was up front with you about it and I actually stopped talking to her… But then again, there’s nothing. I have no right to say anything. just don’t bring my hopes up.

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This is probably a bad decision. I should probably think this through. this will probably make me worse. But you know what? I don’t care. I’m thinking about right now! And rn I want this! I want this so badly even if I get hurt or am really sad afterwards. But I’m loving it rn. It’s fucked up. It I’m happy.

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Manhattanville campus is beautiful! Road trip was rad and exploring the city with jay was fun.
And I saw Noah today! 😻 I missed my sugar daddy ahaha.
Anyways, I seriously have such great friends. and Alex, Nicky k, Anthony,Nic and maybe Noah said they would visit me!! ☺️ I’m excited.

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I am not as sad or upset as people think I am.
Relationships sometimes don’t work out.
Weight fluctuates.
There are bad days but also great days!
People DO care.
I’m not the person I aim to be yet…
But I’m trying. I will slowly get there. Cutting old habits are the worst. Saying goodbye is sad, but I will be okay.

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my pessimistic thoughts will be the death of me.

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time to let go.but i can’t seem to do it.

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